30/06/2016

it felt like i was dying
driving in this horrible black tunnel until a burst of light
punched me, it literally hit me
spun me out of control
tumbled me upside down
left me there
in screaming agony
waiting for someone to save me
waiting for someone to open this door
to get me back to safety
back to reality
trying to calm me down
stop me from screaming
making sure everyone around me was okay
even after everything i caused
forgetting to stop and pay attention
forgetting to turn on the lights
but it all resulted in my life changing in a matter of seconds
it resulted in all this trauma i didn't think id have
all the tears and all the aches
waking up the next morning with a bruised and battered body
being told that the soreness will only get worse
being told that i was lucky to be alive
i caused all of this
almost killed my friend
almost killed the other people
it shook me
it made me realise
how lucky i am to still be here
but it also made me realise
how much i can actually hate myself
how guilty i feel
and how i don't feel like i can apologise enough from what i've caused