for you

I am withdrawing myself from you. You intimidate me, you intimidate me way too much. Oh not in a bad way tho. Avoiding you while I all I want to do is talk and figure out what goes through that mind of yours. Maybe I am scared of what you make me feel, scared of how I would do anything you ask of me. Since my avoiding game is so strong today I might as well tell you how I have been doing over posts. I am sick, coughing constantly, headaches every few hours and the goddamn pain. It isn’t that hard to suppress how I feel about you but slowly it’ll start eating me alive from the inside. All I want is for you to be happy or at least truly satisfied. I want to see you smile darling, not one of those fake smiles you walk around with at school but a real smile. You deserve the world, you deserve to be treated like the fucking princess that you are. Man I hope the girl you grow fond of next treats you right and doesn’t make you her secret. I won’t try anything with you so don’t worry because I’m leaving soon. I’m working really hard on graduating and leaving and I couldn’t do that to anyone. Staying is not really an option after finishing school. I am a mess, a big fucking mess.