you

its realising all the mistakes i made while we were together

its realising all the times i had the chances to kiss you but i didn’t

its realising all the "i love you’s” i could’ve confessed to you but didn’t

its realising that i shouldn’t have had to said it because all my actions expressed it to you

every phone call

every errand run

every ‘drive safe’

every god damn night we spend together
every god damn time i held you tight in my arms

you should’ve known that i loved you yet you didn’t

i of all people should’ve known that you wouldn’t pick up on that, that you would be oblivious of my love for you

and after all this time i just can't get rid of you

its months later and now we spoke and apologised

its months since we both lost ourselves in the depths of our bad decisions 

its months and yet i can't let you go

its months and i still love you

post traumatic eyes disorder

your eyes had always intrigued me

when we met;
 they held so much emotion
so much damage
it told me they story of how your heart had been broken

when we were together;
i fixed what seemed to be broken
they shone like i had never before seen

when we left each other;
the shine i put there no longer shone for me
suddenly the shone again for the one who dimmed them in the first place
i had healed you, brought brightness back into them

aftermath;
you left my eyes without their shine
as for you took away my shine to light up your own
and i let you because to me it seemed that your happiness was more important than mine