empty promise, i won't fall for it

it feels like another empty promise, how many times have you said you don't want to hurt me anymore? probably a shit ton of times, last week you said the same thing while we were in bed, my bed, the same bed i cant sleep in without remembering how crowded it was with you next to me yet not giving a single fuck because i had you pressed up against me. when will it finally be the last time you hurt me? 'She's hurting too' yeah boo fucking hoo guess who had their heart broken all over again. guess who stood outside her best friends party sobbing her eyes out. Guess who had to get picked up by her friends, actual friends who drove back to come get her because they actually gave a fuck. Me, i had to get picked up by my friends, i was the one outside sobbing my eyes out. while you had your fucking lips latched onto hers, not even thinking about how it would make me feel being just a few feet away, did you think i wouldn't find out?  but always the same excuse tho 'i don't remember anything, i was drunk, i didnt eat anything that day' always the same fucking excuse. so why should i forgive you again, so you can hurt me again in a few weeks? 'she's been trying really hard' i call bullshit i call fucking bullshit! i don't see you trying 'hard'. do you really think a stupid letter telling me everything that i already know and a rose will make up for all the heart ache you brought me over the past week and on top of that you aren't giving me any fucking time. i'm broken right now, i'm fucking broken yet you don't give me any time to heal, its been a week. a week doesn't heal anything. and forcing yourself to see me whenever i try to hang out with my best friend won't help, it'll only make me detest you more than i do now. it won't ever be the same anymore, i have been your doormat way too fucking long. you had me and you lost me because of your own stupid decisions. so i hope it was worth it, because she still can't stand you and now neither can i. i've been 'done' a bunch of times but trust me this time i'm done for real. don't try anymore because i can't even look at you without being angry. stop trying you're only 'hurt' because now you don't have a doormat to walk all over anymore. stop trying to make things better because you don't mean it. a rose and a letter mean nothing. 'Actions speak louder than words' prove to me that you're sorry because now i don't believe shit you say.